Awesomesauce. “What is the Jordan River in your life? What is the one thing about which you would say, “I will do anything God asks me to do–as long as it is not that”?” pg 130 of Greater by Steven Furtick
This week one of the topics that Melissa Taylor listed on her blog for us to discuss was the Jordan River in our life. I didn’t think I would blog this time, but the more I thought about it, the more I looked back at what God has done. So here we go.
This has been a year that I personally crossed the Jordan River twice. For many years I have felt God nudging me to lead women but my pride, or lack of it, kept pulling me back. Not me, not me it’s too hard. I dabbled with it – took women around the state to Beth Moore conferences – let her speak, not me – I am not qualified. Bought some CDs and had women over to the house and played the CDs – not me – I cannot teach. Last summer, I was in the on-line Bible Study “I Used to Be So Organized by Glynnis Whitwer”. I had joined the OBS and was awe-stricken with so much honor and respect for these ladies at Proverbs 31 and Melissa Taylor’s on-line Bible study. If only I could be like them – just a little like them would be nice. I wanted to be a Proverbs 31 Lady but thought to myself – who me? Never. I continued through the study, and sometime near the end I was asked about being a leader. Wow I don’t think I have been that happy since my children were born, but I was scared. How in the world would I lead women? I certainly am not qualified. I said I’ll pray about it and let you know. I prayed for a few days and talked to my family who all were thrilled, and encouraged me, and eventually God spoke to me and I dove into that river and swam to the other side. I am about to lead my third OBS group. Sometimes they are quiet, sometimes they are talkative. I prefer the talkative groups because they help me grow, but sometimes I know they are quiet, but listening and God has us all where we need to be, doing what we need to do.
I am so glad I took that dip in the Jordan River, humbling myself by giving up that pride of thinking I couldn’t teach so that He could become greater through me. I know now without Him I can not do it alone. I know when I am leading I may only be an audience of one. I learned through that experience that God can and will enable the unequipped if we will exalt Him and let Him do it through us.
Before I even read Chapter 9, God placed on my heart my “one word” for this year – not a New Year’s resolution but one word and that word was Less as I reflected on being less of me and more of Him. Bam as I read Chapter 9 the next week in Greater there it was – confirmation of God’s word, “Jesus must become greater: I must become less.”
My second dip this year began when I decided I would substitute teach. I wanted to make a difference in my community and meet new women and children at school and be a light – so off I went to training. That day they begged for teachers to work with the “special needs” children. I sit there and said no way, Jose’ could I do that. I’ll stick with reading, writing and math. A few weeks later the automated phone call came for my first teaching job. Excited I left and called my husband on the way to school. I said I hope it is not a math class. I walked into the school office and they said you are in CBI today. My heart SUNK! What could I say? I wanted to walk out – forget about ministering to my community. But with God I walked down that hall and walked in that class and my life was forever changed.
Have you ever worked with a “special needs” child? I came home that day wanting to cry because of my stinking thinking. I was so humbled, so over-joyed and exhausted. The weeks have gone by and now that is all I have ever taught. Got a call today for science and PE substitute but I was already scheduled for CBI. God is telling me He wants me there. Every time I teach a simple color or number or something in our PE or computer class or get a child to eat with a spoon, or throw a ball, play a game, work a puzzle I am thrilled – absolutely thrilled – that my God would take someone like me to help a child grow in Him. When I went back this week for the first time after Christmas the other CBI teachers and aides were hugging me back (because it’s hard to find folks to help them) and those kids were jumping out of their chairs hugging me. Humbling yes when you take that dip and cross that Jordan River.
As Pastor Furtick says, “The only path to greater heights in the things of God is to get lower. The lower you get, the higher God can take you”. It’s not about me, it’s about Him. Less of me, MORE of Him. My one word.
I don’t know what your Jordan River is or who your CBI kids are, but trust me it is more than worth the effort to seek God’s will and take that plunge.