My Refuge and My Fortress

14 Mar

I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.  Psalm 91:2 (KJV)

So what did this verse speak into my life this week. That question was asked by Melissa, and as I pondered on Verse 2, I know He truly is our only refuge and fortress. In the midst of my life’s trials, my storms, my valleys, my fears, He is the safe place (my hiding place), my shelter that I need to run to.

My most recent storm was suddenly losing my Mom, and I was not expecting so much grief because I am a child of God, a perfectionist, the first-born, the protector, the caregiver, and Mom had suffered for many years, and I knew this day was close, but not prepared for it when that phone call came. I had spent much time with her since I retired last year, and told myself she wanted to go and was ready, and I had done everything possible, and I would not have any guilt. Was I wrong! I am no longer in control and in order to be in control I have to run to Him, my refuge, my shelter, my strength.

On Melissa Taylor’s blog this week she shared one of Karen Ehman’s videos with us, and in it Karen reminded us that we need to run to Him daily. Yes we need to walk in faith and sit at His feet. I was reminded that He is our hiding place. Enjoy one of my favorite songs by Selah called, “You Are My Hiding Place”.

Since Melissa shared this reflection verse, I have spent some time dwelling in this Psalm and reading and savoring. As I studied Psalm 91, it’s helped me through some of the grief. That first verse tells me to “lean on Him”. That’s what I am doing because some days if left to me I would sleep and eat. I have done little this week and at times felt like this was not normal and I was going crazy. How can a Christian feel this way? I know God’s plan is perfect. I have had a hard time concentrating, even overwhelmed at times by feelings of sadness, guilt and loneliness, and then there is that pressure to be strong. How can a child of God have these feelings?

We never have to be alone or suffer or cry alone.  God is always there for you and me to lean on.   It will take time to get through this grief, but it will come as I spend time with Him in his word and prayer,  and stay in touch with others – my church, my Bible study group and my OBS sisters and Melissa’s blog, and exercise and maybe take a long walk and bathe the dog this afternoon when I finish writing. Yes, there are days I have one of those waves of grief and tears, and then God puts something on someone’s heart that blesses me and reminds me I am a child of God, His daughter and He hurts when I hurt, and I start counting my blessings and giving thanks.

Each day something shows up in the mail from a sweet friend or OBS sister. Yesterday, a perfect book called “A Time To Grieve” by Kenneth C. Haugk from a fellow sister. In that book he shared my exact feelings and said to do exactly what I’m doing and that is whatever I can each day – the simplest of things that take my mind off my Mom. Simple things like music,  prayer and scripture, exercise, reading, talking. That’s what I’m doing – little right now, but more each day and I learned from that book it is ok to “feel crazy” and that was the most common feelings of grief. Today a sweet email and devotion from Melissa sharing some of the same feelings when her Mom died.

I took Psalm 91 (KJV) and added a personal twist on it because not only Ps 91:1, but all the way through spoke to me. Here are a couple of my favorites with me’s and I’s added:

    Psalm 91:1 –  I who dwell in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under His shadow.

      Psalm 91:2 – I will say of the Lord, He is MY Refuge and MY Fortress, MY God; in Him I will trust!

      Psalm 91:4 – He shall cover ME with His feathers, and under His wings shalt I trust.  His truth shall be MY shield and  buckler.

At all times no matter what is happening in my life, I  need to be dwelling in the shelter of my Lord.

Verse 91:4 was a nugget for me this week. “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”

Psalm 17:8 (KJV), “Keep me as the apple of Your eye; hide me under the shadow of Your wings.”Don’t you love that?

Corrie Ten Boom prayed  every night that He would cover her with His feathers.  I need to remember that.  Perhaps that would help me go to sleep faster.

Thankful every single day for his covering.  How about you?

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18 Responses to “My Refuge and My Fortress”

  1. ceragsdale March 14, 2013 at 4:27 pm #

    Great post and videos, Debbie! Sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. I lost my dad two and a half years ago. I think about him and miss him every day. He was my rock in life! I am blessed to still have my mom in my life today. We do not realize our depth of love for someone until they are gone. May God provide you peace and comfort in this difficult time. GBU!

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  2. krissy kearney March 14, 2013 at 4:56 pm #

    Debbie we have so much in common! Thank you for your wonderful words! I lost my dad suddenly last summer and it’s been crazy family ever since. I’m the oldest (of four) too and I felt totally out of control living one hour away from my mom and wanting to be there with her every minute, but knowing I can’t. It’s been a quite releasing her and her knew life to the Lord! My sister’s life has fallen apart since he died and now we are in the midst of a state/sister custody petition for her kids. It’s been a wild ride. This study has come at the perfect time for me!

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  3. monyokks March 14, 2013 at 6:47 pm #

    Love your post today! Really made we think we usually just think of a shelter just when it “storms”, but we DO need to seek (and rest in) His shelter even in the good times.

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  4. monyokks March 14, 2013 at 6:50 pm #

    Love your post today! Really made me think about how we usually only think of a shelter just when it “storms”, but we DO need to seek (and rest in) His shelter even in the good times. Thank you for sharing!

    Pat

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  5. Missy March 14, 2013 at 9:23 pm #

    Debbie, your post today was so tender and encouraging. I pray God continues to shelter you from the weight of your grief as you continue to seek the refuge of His comforting wings. I found that same part of Psalm 91 speaking to me, too. This was a beautiful reminder, to me, to continue running to Him when the “tragedies”, “crisis”, and “upsets” happen. Running to Him with you!

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  6. Sue Molitor (OBS Leader) March 15, 2013 at 12:54 am #

    Debbie, I am so sorry for your sorrow and grief. I’m sorry it has been so hard for you. I can only imagine how hard it must be to lose a parent. God is so good to comfort us in the shadow of His wings. That is such a beautiful picture…Him wrapping us in His wings as we curl up with our tears. He loves us so much. Many hugs to you. With love, Sue

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    • bloggerlovestheking March 15, 2013 at 7:42 am #

      Sue I didn’t think it could be this hard. I think when I lost Dad I was so busy taking care of Mom I did not grieve as much and maybe because I was with Mom so much these past 5 years. Love you. Debbie

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  7. Amber Oatman (OBS leader) March 15, 2013 at 1:44 am #

    Debbie you are doing a wonderful job ❤ We are studying Breaking Free at church and last night Beth taught us that sometimes when tragedies arise that we just can't understand it's okay just to hang our heads and cry. We don't need to understand, that's not our job. We just need to remember that He is faithful! I am smiling at you right now sister ❤ I am imagining all the steps you have been taking and my heart is glad and so proud of you.

    Psalm 91:4 is also my favorite passage of the psalm. My heart just melts when I think of God huddling over us, wings extended and a watchful eye on all that is going on around us. I also share your love of Selah's song <3. Awhile back at church we were given a list of the many names of God and asked to mark the ones we most identified with. Mine were; my Refuge, my Rock, my Hiding Place. Our God is so good to us ❤

    Lifting you up in prayer sweet sister ❤

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    • bloggerlovestheking March 15, 2013 at 9:30 am #

      Amber thank you. I’m working on it. Thank you so much for your thoughts. I love Beth Moore and you are second one to share some of Beth with me today. I love it. Hugs. Debbie

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  8. Kendra March 15, 2013 at 7:38 am #

    AWESOME post, Debbie!!! GOD truly does cover us with HIS wings, HE truly DOES carry us. Times like this remind me of the “Footprints” poem. May HE continue to reveal HIS perfect peace, HIS perfect comfort, HIS perfect plan!! Praying for you daily sweet sister!!! ❤ U

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  9. oilsbydesign March 15, 2013 at 12:56 pm #

    Oh, what a beautiful blog! as I read it, I just had a peace and relaxation come over my spirit – what a blessing – and a blessed assurance of how we can take refuge in HIM in ALL areas of life! ♥♥♥

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  10. Rebecca Portteus March 15, 2013 at 9:10 pm #

    Beautiful!

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  11. Genoa Strickland March 16, 2013 at 10:40 pm #

    Hey, Debbie. Enjoyed the read. I heard a story of a forest fire and as a man walked by a burned tree, he kicked at a dead bird sitting beneath the tree. When he kicked the carcas, four baby birds walked out from under their mama. God is good to us (to me!)!! That’s what He does.

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  12. Katrina Wylie March 18, 2013 at 11:03 am #

    Debbie, I finally got the chance to visit your blog and I’m really glad I did. Thanks so much for sharing your heart here. While all our grieving experiences are different, I do want you to know you’re not alone in the feelings that you’ve shared. I lost my mom 6 months ago, and it too has left me with so many of the struggles you described. Someone sent me a book on grieving as well and I’m so greatful for it! It has helped me so much to know that what I’m feeling and how I’m reacting at times, isn’t abnormal. It’s also taught me that grieving isn’t something you do and then it’s done, but that the loss is something that will change you and be with you forever. Knowing that is hard at times, but at the same time it has brought me comfort because I’ve been able to stop pressuring myself with thinking and feeling I should be over it by now. My heart and prayers go out to you…I really enjoyed the songs you’ve shared as well. Thank you for those. Here’s one that’s been a great comfort to me that I “stumbled” across right after my mom passed. It’s by Kari Jobe. To me, it has really signified the struggle of grieving and needing to just stop and be still in Him. Hope it touches you too! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YXygCLso9U

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    • bloggerlovestheking March 18, 2013 at 11:20 am #

      Katrina that is a beautiful song and is touching. I had not heard that one by Kari. I will be praying for you as well. And yes that forever is hard – nothing is the same. But we have to move on in the present don’t we. My husband took me out of town for lunch on Saturday and on the way back I was quiet and he said are you thinking about stuff and I told him, “No I am relishing the present with you”. That’s what we have to do, but yes it is hard and I wake up at night and Mom is on my mind so I get up and head to my Bible or my on-line Bible study friends. Thanks so much for sharing your loving words and the song. I listened with a few tears. Hugs. Debbie

      Like

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