This week during our study of What Happens When Women Say Yes To God by Lysa TerKeurst, one of the blog topics is #StickWithIt, and for us to share moments when we felt like we could not do it anymore.
I absolutely love leading a facebook group for these studies. Of all my ministry life and all I’ve done, this is the one thing that brings me great joy not only in my group but also in our leadership group. So much love, honor and respect for one another and talking about sisters – you bet – I have lots of them and can share anything with them. When they tell me they are going to pray for me, I know they will.
Two weeks ago, God blessed us with our first grandchild, a son. Colt was born with a very rare skin disease called EB. That day as we walked in and saw that beautiful little boy, our fears we saw his precious little feet and knew something was wrong, but none of the staff at the hospital had never seen anything like it. FEAR is not of God, but oh yes there was fear and tears and pain. He was transferred immediately to a big children’s hospital in Ft Worth where they did indeed know what it was. God knew Colt even before he was conceived (Jeremiah 1:5). God knew our pain even before we were conceived! He is always at work in our lives, ALWAYS! Lysa called God’s story “His Story”, not history. “His- Story” is being weaved and worked each days in our lives, and we must remember that during the difficult times.
I cried as it all sunk in, and I realized I would most likely be needed very much in the months ahead. I was not even sure what would happen once we got to the children’s hospital, but I knew it was bad when they were sending us there. I felt I might have to resign my Proverbs 31 facebook group, and that would break my heart, but I also knew that whatever God called me to do, I would do it. I shared with my group what was happening in my personal life and how much I needed their help and didn’t want to give up. They jumped in and helped posting prayers, devotions, songs, and the daily assignments – AND two weeks later they are still hopping in and helping me lead this group. God knew before this season, the group of ladies that would be there to do, to love, to continue to be there to guide us through this study.
I also love substitute teaching with special needs children, but this week as I have subbed I have found my heart elsewhere worrying about a little baby and his Mom throughout the day. My heart right now is pulled so many directions – my group, school, home, my mother-in-law next door, meeting my husband’s needs and my hurting children and their spouses and still with twinges of losing Mom this year – it all seems so much. I find myself looking at the future and not the present – what’s needed this moment – what is important to God this moment.
So whatever I will be doing in the coming days, coming months and maybe even years if that is what God has planned it will be to serve Him as I minister to others. In Colossians 3:17 it says ““Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord.” I plan to #stickwithit, but I know my #stickwithit may change not by choice, but by God as only He knows what “His Story” will be for me.
Regardless of whatever state I am in, the Bible says in Philippians 4:11 to be content. I may not like that present state, I may be uncomfortable in that valley, but I know that God is still God wherever I am. Lysa said in her book that “when we find ourselves in these hard places, we make the choice to worry or worship.” I am choosing to worship – choosing to worship as I take my daughter-in-law and grandson to doctor’s appointments, choosing to worship as I sit with him while she works from home, choosing to go to school and sub to minister to students and staff, choosing to minister to my “sisters” in my Bible study and choosing to help my mother-in-law next door.
Lysa also said “each time I feel my heart being pulled down into the pit of ungratefulness and grumbling, I recognize it as a call to draw near to the Lord, I thank Him for the empty places, for they remind me that only He has the ability to fill me completely.” And one of the things I read in her study guide this week hit me when she said “God’s goal isn’t to make us happy. He wants to make us holy.”
It has been amazing to me, it shouldn’t be, how God has loved me through this year 2013 – it’s been a painful and joyous year. We have waited and prayed for Colt for many years. The pain of going through Mom’s death, the pain of watching a child not be able to conceive, the pain of a child with a new baby and both he and the baby are in pain physically and mentally, of seeing my husband and children and their spouses cry like I have never seen them cry. 2013 has been a hard year for this family, but there have been so many good years and we will get through this one and the next and the next together as we lean on Him. These things have happened and they have interrupted us, they have challenged us but we know as a family that loves God that God is using all these things to make us holier, to make us more like Him as we shift our fear to focus on His love!
Today Colt is doing ok, but he has much healing to do. We have watched God perform so many miracles on his behalf in the last two weeks – almost daily. It is our prayer that God will perform the biggest miracle of all and that is to heal Colt completely. Will you pray with us for complete healing? This week the dermatologist gave us his opinion, and he said he is sometimes wrong, but he feels it is one of the worst types of EB and again that brought fear and tears. We are praying bold prayers to Jesus that it is not the worst kind, and we are even praying MORE boldly that it is not EB at all, and will be something else that can be managed and be cured. Days like that make us feel empty, make us cry out for Colt and our kids – but then I remember I need to choose to worship Him. Romans 5:3 says, “We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope.” One of the things Lysa said made sense to me and I cling to that “God’s word calls me to rejoice? Not that I rejoice in the bad things. I would have to fake that. But I can rejoice in what God is doing in me through difficult times.” I know God is doing great things during these difficult, hurting times, but I know there will be much rejoicing as we see how God works through this. God has brought so much joy to us through this little boy!
We studied this week about Him being our peace just like a calm river. I picture that river flowing and His peace in those moments the last few weeks when I just want to break down and cry, and to be honest and real with you I have these past few bumpy weeks, and even now as I write this blog I am crying tears which my friends tell me are cleansing and it’s ok. I have to fix my eyes on Him. As we read this week and I highlighted, underlined and put an asterisk beside it “Romans 8:28 – We know that all things God work for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Lysa said “this does not mean that everything that happens to us will be good, but that God will work in and through every situation to bring good from it.”
This is a situation set before us that seems scary and overwhelming. I’ve been in that situation before when our daughter was born nine weeks early. I’ve been in this situation before with doctors telling us things that devastated us for a moment and I’ve seen God perform miracles over and over. When you are put in a situation that is scary or overwhelming, you just have to stop and remember: 2 Peter 1:3, “Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God.” The best invitation we ever received!” (Message translation). God has called each of us to represent Christ in all we go through, and every where we go. Are you doing that today? I know it’s hard at times, but He is looking for us to say Yes Father I am willing. I will go where you lead me!
Isn’t he so stinkin’ cute and loveable. I’m praying God heals Colt and praying that He will use this situation as a testimony and message of what the Messiah can do when people all over the world join together to pray. Praying for many more Messiah moments/God moments as we walk through this journey as He loves and cares for Colt and the entire family. Would you follow Colt’s status here and see how we are praying for him each day and pray with us. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Pray-for-baby-Colt/350863471710362