“Oh no Lord, you don’t mean me, do you”? Yes, it’s confession time. I’ve said it. How about you?
My mind has jumped into that impossible mode so many times. I can’t do that. I don’t know how to do that. I’m not equipped to do that. People will make fun of me, and on, and on, and on.
When my Mom died, He prompted me to get up and speak at her funeral. Lord, I am so broken, you can not mean me. I even wrote a poem that day because my Dad always wrote poems, and it was a remembrance of Dad and Mom, and I felt like it was the last thing I could do for Mom. God was truly there giving me the courage to speak, and He gave me the words that I wrote.
For many years I dreamed of retiring, but I would start thinking about finances and I had also told my boss I would give him a year’s notice. My job was going to be hard to replace, or so he said. HA!
My best friends at work retired at the same time two years before I did. I felt the nudging at that time, but then I also felt commitment and obligation because there were three of us doing the same job for different contracts, and I knew it was going to be hard for us, our customers and oh woe is me with the additional workload waiting to fill their jobs. I was too important. They needed me. I did not listen.
On the spur of the moment one day God nudged me to move, to get out, to do what was important. Say What? WHO me? WHAT was the future going to look like? How could we live like we had been living if I retired and my salary was much less? What would it be like being home all the time if I said Yes to God. I said yes, and I retired with only two months notice. I spent the year of 2012 visiting my Mom, taking her meals, reading to her out of the scripture and devotionals not knowing how precious these times were because she would be gone two short years later.
I also joined Melissa Taylor’s Online Bible Studies, now a part of Proverbs 31. I wanted to go to studies at church but they were only at night and I wanted to be home with my husband so I found these studies convenient and God led me there one day searching. Now I can study 24/7.
In September 2012, I was approached to be a leader for a Facebook group in the studies. I thought I am not equipped and no way. Really Lord, you don’t mean me. I am not equipped. Yes it has been a dream to lead women, but Lord I really can’t do this. I prayed, talked to my family and finally said YES to God. What happened is He took my obedience and equipped me to lead a group. At first my groups were quiet. One group I had only one lady responding and she was growing in the Lord because she was working so hard to help me, and little did I realize until later that God was grooming me for something big and preparing me for sad days ahead.
Melissa Taylor calling me one day and we talked about the studies and my leading and dreams. She encouraged me to start a blog and to write. I was like there is no way I can figure all that out. God said there is a way. I am the way and I am going to walk you through WordPress and teach you. The rest is history.
“Saying yes to God is always the right thing to do, but it’s not always the easiest thing to do. In fact, sometimes it’s really hard, uncomfortable, or inconvenient. But God has a purpose in those difficult moments. He uses them to challenge us, refine our hearts, and make us holy-pure-in-heart women He can use for a noble purpose.” Lysa Terkeurst – What Happens When Women Say Yes to God Workbook
I would love for you to share about a time that you said, “Oh no Lord, not me.”
I am joining Suzanne Eller today on #LiveFreeThursday and the prompt this week is You Don’t Mean Me Lord. Come join us here.