Bible Study, Blog, Encouragement, Faith, Inspiration

Uninvited Bible Study Notes- Chapters 1-3

Uninvited Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lysa Terkeurst


We all experience rejections, insecurities and fears.

When I first read the title, as always with these studies, I thought I don’t remember ever feeling uninvited, but as I really sit down and began to dive into this book in these first three chapters I can see where I have felt less than, left out and even lonely during my sixty plus years. If we are honest and ponder back we can see how those lies have impacted us from school years into the golden years.

Chapter 1 –  I’d Rather Ignore Honesty

“Come out, come out, wherever you are” – Those were some of Lysa’s first words in chapter 1 reminding us that “honesty wants to speak to the least tidy version of the woman I’ve become.”  I’ll never play hide and seek with my grandsons again and not remember those words.  We try to make things seem better than they actually are.

In becoming honest with ourselves she reminds us that “no matter how saved, sanctified, mature, and free we are, there are misalignments embedded in our souls.”

In Chapter 1, Lysa talks about lines of rejection.  Lines of rejection can be lines that have stayed with us from childhood, from the school years, dating years, marriage years and even all those career years.  Can you remember a time you were rejected by someone in school or even bullied?  Can you remember things that your parents did at a tender age?  These can be simple things that we take personally like unkind or hurtful words, or they can be staggering things like Lysa shared where a parent left and made you feel rejected.  Perhaps a marriage has failed, or a spouse has had an affair and you still carry lines of rejection or thoughts of rejection whispering to you, and you find yourself agreeing with those lies.  How about being laid off or fired from a job?  Lines of lies that linger and linger and begin to define who we are NOT.

Lisa told us to really sit quietly with the Lord and ask what are some of the statements that are still affecting you?  She told us to write just one down and watch how that lie has become a label that sticks with us.  They becomes lies, then labels, then liabilities in our future relationships.  These labels can make us become suspicious of everyone else.

One of my favorite quotes from this chapter was when Lysa was at the airport, had forgotten her luggage and she said, “I’m just such an idiot.  I invite so much unnecessary drama and complication in my life, because my pace and my brain aren’t in sync.  I mean, seriously, what is wrong with my brain?!”  The luggage man then extended his arm, held up his hand and said, “Not in my presence will you talk about yourself this way.  Absolutely not.”  That’s one statement I needed to hear because I’ve called myself stupid so many times, or a failure – failure as a Mom, failure as a housekeeper, failure as a wife – failure, failure, failure.  I remember the last time I did that my husband reminded me I am not now nor ever have been a failure. I can imagine my Father looking down at me and saying “Not in my presence will you talk about yourself this way.  Absolutely not.”  I don’t think I’ll ever call myself a failure again.

I am not a gossiper.  I can keep a truth if you ask me to, but I have talked about me in ways that I would not knowingly let another person talk to me that way.  Lysa calls it “self-rejection.”  “Not in my presence will you talk about yourself this way.  Absolutely not.”

“Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me.” That’s a truth reminding us of the nagging feelings we can have when we are rejected – not invited – lines said to us – all those whatevers it is that have caused deep hurts in deep places in your heart.  We forget God is telling us we are good and we are ALWAYS loved.   Have you ever not been invited?  I know I have, but honestly it doesn’t bother me now.  I hope I’ve never made anyone feel that way.  Have you ever invited someone to something, and they called at the last minute and could not come?  Ever felt a pang of rejection?

Chapter 2 – Three Questions We Must Consider

In this chapter we learned about anchors, and not the anchor that my son throws to anchor his boat, but rather things of this world and how they are incapable of being anchors.

Lysa reminded us that “the beliefs we hold should hold us up even when life feels like it’s falling apart.”  That’s a sentence I believe every single one of us can cling to today and every day.  The beliefs we hold should be an anchor that grounds us when we are shaken to the core, and believe me I have been, and I bet you have to.  God’s goodness is not based on how we feel, but rather His truth, and we have to be aligned with His truths in order to be anchored.

So what were the three questions Lysa shared?

  1. Is God good?
  2. Is God good to me?
  3. Do I trust God to be God?

THINGS of this world can not be our anchors.  Our anchor is Jesus Christ.  Our identities must be in Him.  We are His.  Lysa reminded us that “what consumes my thinking will be the making or the breaking of my identity.”  Oh that stinkin’ thinking.  You know you’ve done it.  We need to STOP it.


CHAPTER 3 – There’s a Lady at The Gym Who Hates Me

This chapter got me.   Not that a lady in the gym hates me, but the way I can assign thoughts to others that they are not even thinking.  Have you found yourself doing that?  I have, but I’ve gotten better at it.  I could so used to think I knew exactly what my husband was thinking, and bless his heart he didn’t have a clue and you know what nor did I.  Lysa says, “we own a rejection from them they never gave me.”

Lysa had a perceived rejection with a lady at the gym, and she thought she knew what that lady was thinking.

Don’t do it.  Don’t let your mind even wander there.  You don’t know what another person is thinking.  Satan is putting lies in your headWe need to remember to “Lived loved” as Lysa called it.  She reminded us some days she just does not feel it.  Honestly, don’t we all have days like that.  She called it “life karate chops” that come and someone smirks at us we don’t feel loved but we have to tell ourselves we aren’t picking up that negative vibe because we are loved and we need to feel loved and live loved.

I loved the verse she shared.  How many times have I read this?  Only God knows, but it never made the impact it did this week.  This is the kind of emotional stability that Lysa wants no matter who might reject us today:


It’s never too late to join.  I love Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies.  Check it out right here.

Personal Pictures taken by me.


39 thoughts on “Uninvited Bible Study Notes- Chapters 1-3”

  1. Oh how I wish I had the time for this right now…. I have endured some deep rejection by those who call themselves Christians… I think that’s some of the most painful hurt that can be. Praying your study breaks strongholds and releases women to the full blessing of the invitation they have in Christ! XO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Liz – Uninvited is a wonderful book for breaking those strongholds. Read it when you have time. We’ve finished but I haven’t had time to finish up my notes with the #31day project and life. I hope I can.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this:They becomes lies, then labels, then liabilities in our future relationships.
    I bought this book but my mom s reading it first. Can’t wait…I have experienced the same thing as the above comment. We are all human though, and I am forgiving and receiving healing. I still want to read it though!! Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hope you have had a chance to read Uninvited Meg, and hope your Mom enjoyed it. It was certainly good and I haven’t gotten all the other chapter notes up yet. Hoping I can work it in but I sure don’t know when.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Many of our thoughts are NOT our own, but when we put voice to them, they become ours. This is why it is so important to guard our thinking and especially our words. Again many of our hurts are the way we take things. Begin to see things through grace and mercy instead of selfishness. Your study sounds enlightening and may you discover how God desires us to be free indeed. Thank you for sharing with us here at Tell me a Story.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This sounds like an amazing study. I love when others in our lives remind us that we do not need to talk negative about ourselves. My husband is good to help me overcome negative self-talk. Thanks for sharing what you’re learning with us!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow! I am so happy that you are sharing your thoughts on this study. Most of my life I have felt that I was “less than”. I hate feeling as if I don’t measure up in someone’s eyes. I did a lot of soul searching, personality testing, questioning and asking God why. During my digging I found that I am a rare personality type, INFJ. Once I figured this out, the “why” was answered. I process things differently than most, and differently than my entire family. When growing up I felt so left out and misunderstood. For an INFJ we are constantly searching for the few people in life that we will be close to, people that will understand us, but it’s a hard thing to find. INFJs not only hear words, but we see feelings, (ODD, Yes) and we all have a bit of an empathic side.

    In the beginning I hated that. Why was I different? Why me? Then life moved on and God showed me why. If I was different I would not have been able to understand my family better, I would not have been able to fight for my children with their genetic and mental issues. I would not be the author of “View From In Here”, giving a different perspective on how to think about things.

    It’s taken a long time to get here, but I have realized that God made me who I am because of the troubles that were in our future. And that I needed to be different in order to truly love the people He put in my life. Those He gave me to love and to truly love me.

    And to fight for those that most don’t understand. To empathize, understand and love them, as they are. Because they are different too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nikki I think it takes many of us a long time to get there. Me too, but it was being in the Word that finally taught me who I really am and that God created us to be INFJs and all the other types so we complement each other.


    1. I hope I get a chance to come back and do some more summaries Crystal. I want to do all the chapters, but another study will be starting and I’ve been so busy with #write31days.


  6. I have just about read the whole bible this year. I have the beginning of the old tesament left and I will have done it. I skipped around and read it according to what I was learning about. I have purposely tried not to read any other books about scripture. I didn’t want any interference betweeen me and God. I got a NLT bible and got into it. It reads like a modern book, so much easier than the KJV I grew up on. I was floored by the Gospel of John. It reads in first person like Christ is speaking right to me. There is also a wonderful version of the Visual bible on the Gospel of John on Netflix (of all places). This is 2 of my fav quotes by Jesus in John:
    John 8:44 “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”.

    And John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

    Satan most certainly does put lies in your head. Reminds me of those old cartoons with the angel on your right shoulder and the devil on your left. If you believe in gaurdian angels, (which a lot of people do) why can’t we believe that a fallen angel is sitting there stealing us away from Jesus? The deception is at work and it is very crafty spinning it’s lies. I love that this bible study has spoken to your heart. It is all good once you invite God back into your life. (This has been my experience this year.) I have my nose poked in my bible every chance I get! Thank you for sharing at Home Sweet Home!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sherry what a great accomplishment. I know each time you read it God will lead you to some new thoughts. He is very crafty and he knows right where our weak points are.


  7. Question about teaching this study. Would the participants want to purchase the study AND the book. Does the book’s chapters go along with the study? What is the homework each week? Is it just to read the correlating chapters? We plan on doing the DVD as well each week


    1. The study book goes along with the DVD, but one leader could have the study guide and read the questions to the group. I was a leader with a Facebook Group and I bought the guide so I could lead discussion. Sometimes the study guide and DVD aren’t right in sync with the chapters and usually covers a couple. You could do this study just with the book, but the DVD is good and I always buy the guides as a leader just to spark more conversation. Hope that helps.


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