Uninvited Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lysa Terkeurst
We all experience rejections, insecurities and fears.
When I first read the title, as always with these studies, I thought I don’t remember ever feeling uninvited, but as I really sit down and began to dive into this book in these first three chapters I can see where I have felt less than, left out and even lonely during my sixty plus years. If we are honest and ponder back we can see how those lies have impacted us from school years into the golden years.
Chapter 1 – I’d Rather Ignore Honesty
“Come out, come out, wherever you are” – Those were some of Lysa’s first words in chapter 1 reminding us that “honesty wants to speak to the least tidy version of the woman I’ve become.” I’ll never play hide and seek with my grandsons again and not remember those words. We try to make things seem better than they actually are.
In becoming honest with ourselves she reminds us that “no matter how saved, sanctified, mature, and free we are, there are misalignments embedded in our souls.”
In Chapter 1, Lysa talks about lines of rejection. Lines of rejection can be lines that have stayed with us from childhood, from the school years, dating years, marriage years and even all those career years. Can you remember a time you were rejected by someone in school or even bullied? Can you remember things that your parents did at a tender age? These can be simple things that we take personally like unkind or hurtful words, or they can be staggering things like Lysa shared where a parent left and made you feel rejected. Perhaps a marriage has failed, or a spouse has had an affair and you still carry lines of rejection or thoughts of rejection whispering to you, and you find yourself agreeing with those lies. How about being laid off or fired from a job? Lines of lies that linger and linger and begin to define who we are NOT.
Lisa told us to really sit quietly with the Lord and ask what are some of the statements that are still affecting you? She told us to write just one down and watch how that lie has become a label that sticks with us. They becomes lies, then labels, then liabilities in our future relationships. These labels can make us become suspicious of everyone else.
One of my favorite quotes from this chapter was when Lysa was at the airport, had forgotten her luggage and she said, “I’m just such an idiot. I invite so much unnecessary drama and complication in my life, because my pace and my brain aren’t in sync. I mean, seriously, what is wrong with my brain?!” The luggage man then extended his arm, held up his hand and said, “Not in my presence will you talk about yourself this way. Absolutely not.” That’s one statement I needed to hear because I’ve called myself stupid so many times, or a failure – failure as a Mom, failure as a housekeeper, failure as a wife – failure, failure, failure. I remember the last time I did that my husband reminded me I am not now nor ever have been a failure. I can imagine my Father looking down at me and saying “Not in my presence will you talk about yourself this way. Absolutely not.” I don’t think I’ll ever call myself a failure again.
I am not a gossiper. I can keep a truth if you ask me to, but I have talked about me in ways that I would not knowingly let another person talk to me that way. Lysa calls it “self-rejection.” “Not in my presence will you talk about yourself this way. Absolutely not.”
“Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me.” That’s a truth reminding us of the nagging feelings we can have when we are rejected – not invited – lines said to us – all those whatevers it is that have caused deep hurts in deep places in your heart. We forget God is telling us we are good and we are ALWAYS loved. Have you ever not been invited? I know I have, but honestly it doesn’t bother me now. I hope I’ve never made anyone feel that way. Have you ever invited someone to something, and they called at the last minute and could not come? Ever felt a pang of rejection?
Chapter 2 – Three Questions We Must Consider
In this chapter we learned about anchors, and not the anchor that my son throws to anchor his boat, but rather things of this world and how they are incapable of being anchors.
Lysa reminded us that “the beliefs we hold should hold us up even when life feels like it’s falling apart.” That’s a sentence I believe every single one of us can cling to today and every day. The beliefs we hold should be an anchor that grounds us when we are shaken to the core, and believe me I have been, and I bet you have to. God’s goodness is not based on how we feel, but rather His truth, and we have to be aligned with His truths in order to be anchored.
So what were the three questions Lysa shared?
- Is God good?
- Is God good to me?
- Do I trust God to be God?
THINGS of this world can not be our anchors. Our anchor is Jesus Christ. Our identities must be in Him. We are His. Lysa reminded us that “what consumes my thinking will be the making or the breaking of my identity.” Oh that stinkin’ thinking. You know you’ve done it. We need to STOP it.
“NO PERSON’S REJECTION CAN EVER EXEMPT ME FROM GOD’S LOVE FOR ME. PERIOD. NO QUESTION MARK.” Lysa TerKeurst
CHAPTER 3 – There’s a Lady at The Gym Who Hates Me
This chapter got me. Not that a lady in the gym hates me, but the way I can assign thoughts to others that they are not even thinking. Have you found yourself doing that? I have, but I’ve gotten better at it. I could so used to think I knew exactly what my husband was thinking, and bless his heart he didn’t have a clue and you know what nor did I. Lysa says, “we own a rejection from them they never gave me.”
Lysa had a perceived rejection with a lady at the gym, and she thought she knew what that lady was thinking.
Don’t do it. Don’t let your mind even wander there. You don’t know what another person is thinking. Satan is putting lies in your headWe need to remember to “Lived loved” as Lysa called it. She reminded us some days she just does not feel it. Honestly, don’t we all have days like that. She called it “life karate chops” that come and someone smirks at us we don’t feel loved but we have to tell ourselves we aren’t picking up that negative vibe because we are loved and we need to feel loved and live loved.
I loved the verse she shared. How many times have I read this? Only God knows, but it never made the impact it did this week. This is the kind of emotional stability that Lysa wants no matter who might reject us today:
It’s never too late to join. I love Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies. Check it out right here.
Personal Pictures taken by me.